Dear Mom

 Dear Mom,
   You were always my best friend we were so close during my life.
   Olga told me she had never seen a mother and daughter as close as we were that made me feel really good.
   We loved crafting, decorating, & our many shopping trips to Hobby Lobby and Big Lots were lots of laughs. Going to Hobby Lobby without you is not any fun so I order a lot of my craft supplies.
   We were always planning our next big project. Dad always wanted us to bring him back something good. He hated it when we were using glitter because he always got it on his face & someone would comment on it.
   My goal in life was to always be there for you and my dad and I feel like I accomplished that in my 41 years of marriage to Jack. You both told me numerous times you were so grateful you could always count on me.
   I went with you when your mom my grandmother Mama Dot was dying we cried all 300 miles to Louisiana our faces were so swollen by the time we got to the hospital. I think that was our fastest trip we ever made and we did not even stop to pee.
I had taken Daddy Dub home one night and we were about to walk out the door at the house the next morning when the phone rang it was yall telling us Mama Dot had passed away in the night. He said, ” Well Sugar I guess there is no need to go to the hospital right now.” I was the only one with him for 1 hour before you all got there and that was the longest hour of my life.
   I went with you to take Daddy Dub back home from Texas to Louisiana when we knew we were taking him home to die. We knew it was the last time we would see him and we cried all the way there & all the way home.
   I was there for you and dad through many surgeries through the years from prostate and breast cancer to knee replacement and Emergency gall bladder surgery these two were one week apart.
That was a hectic time with follow up appts and Physical Therapy 3 x a week for 8 weeks.
   I was still recovering from rotator cuff surgery when Dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer.
   I was at every dr and hospital appointment dad had. The only time I left the room during an appointment was when you had to meet with the financial people at Texas Oncology. I felt like that part was not my business.
   I took Dad to his cancer treatments the radiation and chemo and I really enjoyed my time with him that was very special for both of us.
   I was the first one with you at the house within 10 minutes of you finding dad and that by far was one tough thing to go through.
My dad was not supposed to die yet I felt so cheated! I called his primary care dr to get his opinion of what might have happened and he agreed that it was probably an Esophageal Varices caused by the chemo. It really made sense with the bleeding he had been experiencing.
   I stayed with you for 6 weeks waiting for the security system to get installed. I was so worried about you being alone I think I was more scared for you than you were for yourself. I went into protection mode.
I took you to 16 appts during the first few months after dad’s death. From every bank, financial advisor, attorney appts, Drs appts, etc. I had all your appointments written on my calendar which I still have. I still have my planner that listed all dad’s appointments.
   I felt like no family member or friend should ever know anyone else’s business and told you not to tell me anything about the financials. This was not my business, in fact, it was not ANYONE Business.
    I wanted to remind you of these good things since I will not see you before you die. I am glad you got to hear my words because I wanted you to know how much I loved you and what a great mom you were. Give my dad a hug from me.
   I never thought I would go through breast cancer without you by my side and I never thought you would be dying without me by your side.
  I love you today, tomorrow, always and forever and until the end of time.
Sonya

Five Years Ago

Today it has been 5 years since my dad passed away.

I took new flowers to the cemetery on Friday.

My dad and I were able to spend some time together while I was taking him back and forth to chemo and radiation. It was just the two of us and that was actually nice. We were able to talk about some things that were on his mind & he knew I would listen.

 I wish you were here so I could say “well dad you were right”!                                                          

You were such a smart man & you could always tell if someone’s intentions were sincere.

I am so glad I could be there for you when you needed me the most with kind words and a carrying heart.

Thank you for telling me you were grateful you could always count on me that meant a lot to me.

I love you and miss you every day. Thank you for being my dad and being a part of my life.

 

My Dad

WordPress.com.

Up ↑